Human – animal bond

I haven’t read much on this subject, but from my own experience, there are different types of bond that we form with out dogs, as well as differing depths to the bonds. I thought I’d ponder them here today, sharing my intuitive knowledge of them. Being in tune with and bonded to an animal is a very rewarding thing in itself. Trying to work with an animal with whom you have no connection is not nearly as much fun.

I think the type of bond that is obvious is the ‘you are always around’ type of bond. So in theory, a dog that hated the sight of his owner would still prefer to be around the owner as a source of ‘normality’ in a strange or uncomfortable situation. Then there’s the deeper stuff. There is the bond of respect and the bond of love. They can go together, but I think idiot humans can manage to get one without the other. The spiritual connectedness bond is a whole other kettle of fish. I don’t think you can get one of these without the love thing as well, but the opposite is true: you and your dog can love eachother to bits but be totally disconnected on the spiritual level. This is probably due to the human’s insensitivity, but I’m sure dogs can have the same issues.

The reason that I am pondering on these ideas is that I think I figured something out the other night. I’ve managed to have all of these bonds with Amika, except that spiritual one. I’ve tried reiki on her in the past, and she hasn’t liked it. I’m guessing that because I was such a mess when Amika was growing up, and because I shut her out emotionally, she’s probably put up defenses of her own. Who wouldn’t? If the person you are trying to bond with keeps having unpredictable emotional upheavals, you’d want to put that at arm’s length for self preservation.

Now that I only occasionally get into distress, and don’t dump on her, we’re doing better. I think the respect was always there, but grudging at times. I’ve worked on that a lot this year and it feels much better. Love is deepening too. I am sad that not enough of those things early on is probably what got us to the reactiveness she has now. It is the whole benevolent leader thing that is so important to make dogs feel secure, especially as pups. So I guess one of my issues lately has been grieving for that ‘loss’.

I’ve heard about TTouch (Linda Tellington-Jones) bodywork from a couple of different sources. One was from Leslie McDevitt’s “Control Unleashed” book. I finally decided to follow up on it and got a couple of her TTouch books from the library. (Less airy fairy than I thought, and sounds like it does actually work.) The other night, I picked up one of the books and decided I would park myself on the dog bed in the office to read it. Amika noticed me there when my partner got home several minutes later, and settled in next to me as soon as greetings were over. We don’t cuddle much, but have been doing more quiet pats lately. This is partly a function of her growing up (hey, she stands still for a pat!) and the way our house is set up – we don’t have a couch or bed that Amika is allowed on with the people, so I have to remember to make myself available.

So there we were, on her bed in the office. I was reading and I suspect she was feeling sorry for herself because of an ongoing urinary infection. I’m reading about TT so had tried inexpertly to do ‘circles’ with my fingers on her. She hasn’t appreciated them, so I just scratched and stroked her normally and then let my hand rest on her shoulder. I became aware of energy happening in that hand (as I am when doing reiki) and suddenly I was brimming with sadness. I wasn’t reading anything sad in the book (that had been a couple of pages ago, a lonely animal in a 1970′s zoo). I’m still not sure where that came from, all I know is that it coincided with that connection. Amika stayed quietly curled up beside me and I wonder if it was her sadness because she was feeling bad. Or maybe it’s mine, because I’ve missed out on this connection for so long. So while tears were dribbling down my face I was smiling with joy (and trying to keep reading the adventures of the young Linda Tellington-Jones).

Later when I was preparing to go to bed and had woken Amika with more pats and tummy rubs, I tried reiki again, simply laying my hand on her shoulder. Though laying still and relaxed on her side at the time, her head snapped up and she looked at the hand. She laid her head back down but the energy didn’t seem to flow after that – she said ‘no’. But pats were OK. Interesting, huh?

I’ve decided to make some dog snuggling time part of every day. Yeah, she gets pats and attention throughout the day, but gee it was nice just to hang out with a snoozing dog. I’m going to be persistent with the TTouch and reiki as well. Just the occasional bit here and there until she says she would like more.